Me, Myself and I
HMMM... I am constantly changing so it is hard to
describe me. I am simply who I am. I don't live to impress anyone and I could care less about negative opinions. I live life
to be inspired and to inspire. I love being in love- (whenever I am) and I love just enjoying life. Late
night walks through walmart or road trips to no where. Some people call me crazy- I prefer unique- I don't care to fit inside
some box. I am not here trying to find myself but simply to create myself. Every day is a blank page and I am the artist.
I love meeting new people and adding new chapters to my life. I love my friends and my family. I sing in the
shower (cover your ears), write poetry and I wear my heart on my sleeve (where else would I wanna wear it?) I love funny movies and laughing out loud. I love girls nights out, sushi and well so many things. Some people think
I speak too freely about about my life- how can you ever truly love me if you never get to know who I really am? My desire
in life is to truly be KNOWN.
We're Only Human
I am a passionate person who loves deeply and I am grateful
for all the people in my life. I realize that for some people my open heart and affection can be confusing but life is short
and I want people to know that they are truly appreciated. I try to get to know people for who they are, not who I think they
should be. I guess I can thank Kendra for that. I remember being fusrated with a friend and she reminded me that people are
who they are and we accept them for that, we can not change them. So that is what I have learned to do- love people for the
good and the bad. I am a huge humanitarian and I try my best to give back when I can. I think the best feeling in the world
is when you can lend a helping hand to someone else. You never know when a person truly needs an extra boost or just a smile.
I have always been this way since I was a young child but personal life changes only lead to increase that desire. I remember
when Jaiden was sick in the hospital and when I brought him home how much I struggled as a young single parent to take
care of him all alone. He was sick and I was lost and hurting. I remember how it felt to just want someone to help cook a
meal or stop by with a smile. Too many people were preoccupied with thier own lives to remember and although I can not blame
anyone- I can remember how much I needed someone and I try and make sure I give back to people whether it is through money
or time. I think if we all made it our mission to give not only when the holiday's come- but through the year we could make
such a difference and impact in other peoples lives. We have been blessed with so much in life that it only seems logical
that we should intern bless others.
L-L-L-Love...
I suppose that is a word that remains a question and quest
for some if not all of us. We ponder on it for years getting it wrong usually before we get it right. I think it is a powerful
but confusing word. Honestly I think love is something that we can have for anyone. I think you learn to love people over
time. From the small things they do to the aspects that make them who they are. I find my life being single interesting and
full of changes. I am learning over the years that we focus so much on that L word but perhaps we are focused on the wrong
thing as we are on that journey. I use to think I was waiting to fall in love or be with the one who truly loves me- but how
can you define something so broad? I don't think I am waiting for just love anymore. Love is not enough. I have
so much of that around me. My friends, my family, my son. I have been loved by many and had love for many but still that was
not enough. I think it's a matter of knowing what you want in life- and how you wish to be treated. I don't believe you have
to stay with someone because you love them- nor do I believe that because you are leaving shows a lack of love. Sometimes
we stay in the wrong places because of "Love". We find ourselves lacking and hurting in relationships that are unfulfilling.
Before I confuse any one- if I have not already, let me elaborate. So many of people are in abusive relationships, settling for
being cheated on. So many women and men are hurting inside by the selfishness of the person they are with. We as
humans are designed to desire a companion and we are ofter afraid of being alone. Rather than to be alone we
suffer through bad situations. That druggie boyfriend or conniving girlfriend. Being with someone is more than just
love- its a partnership. I don't just want to be with someone I love...I want to love being with that person. I want to be
with someone who inspires me- who finds inspiration by me. Someone who lives to serve the same purpose as I do in life. I
believe that you should compliment one anothers styles in some way or form- and no we are not talking fashion. I
guess we settle so much in life because we don't know what we really want or we are too impatient to wait for it. So many
people are in relationships that are lacking and unfulfilling. I want to be full. I can not imagine being with someone who
I had no passion with. I am done just being with someone because I have love for them. I need to be with someone who see's
me for who I am and not just the exterior. We often find ourselves in bad places because we are with someone who only loves
us for the good...but true love is loving someone despite the bad as well.
Dreaming Big
I have a dream- I sound like Martin Luther King huh? Well
I do have a dream. I have dream that eventually I will be able to build and enterprise on a foundation of bettering ourselves
and giving back to others. I know there are many others out there already but I feel you can never have enough. I want to
call it Mission Smiles. If we could all send one person a hug and give them a reason to smile... the possibilities are endless.
I think so many people are empty inside and starving. I wish I could be as powerful as Oprah with the financial means to reach
my goals. I don't- and I am not sure I will alone, but if I can get enough people interested in my mission the lives
of many could be touched. Hopefully my poetry as well as the works of others will serve as insipiration to many and give some
of us a reason to smile.
